Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Widow's Walk: Is it Possible to Love Again?

After Mike passed away, I thought surely that was it. I had my great love story, and it was awesome. And as months and years passed, I began to feel that I might be one of those women destined to remain alone.

But it was hard after being part of a couple. I had been in disastrous relationships earlier in my life. Before I met Mike, I had taken a year off from men — no dates, no distractions. And I discovered much like Maggie in the movie, The Runaway Bride, I was always the girl I thought the man I was with wanted me to be. It took some time to discover myself again. Was I lonely? Of course, but I focused on other parts of my life and in my time alone I would look at past relationships deconstructing them. The one thing I always returned to was to be true to myself.

It has been three years since Mike's passing. And for much of that time, I was content being alone. It was difficult though, it always seemed that everyone was in pairs but me, but I accepted it.

After several weeks of seeing advertisements for dating web sites, I dipped my toe into the water. I put up a profile and I waited. Some responses were scary and some the men were only looking for a physical relationship. And then there was the man who had lots of cats, so I guess the archetypal single woman with many cats also has a male counter part.

As I do with most things, I did some research about dating profiles and came across a man wanting a woman's profile explaining why she would be a good girlfriend. I loved that idea and immediately changed mine. Less than 24 hours later, I had a response from a guy who seemed really nice. Could magic happen more than once?

We're three months in and I think he is such a wonderful man. My new beau accepts and respects my past. He encourages me to follow my passion — writing. He even went to a writing conference with me where he did not know anyone and the only writing he is interested in is mine. He does like nonfiction, mostly historical, but he is not the avid reader that I am.

He scored a lot of points with my tribe and with me.

I believe it is possible to love again.

Don't rush it.

If it does not feel right, wait. It may not be the right time.

When the right time comes, you'll know it.

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