Thursday, September 17, 2009

Stop, Look, and Listen

My children lost their father last week. It was a shock for them. My children are adults, 20 and 22. To me they are still my babies. To add to the horror, my daughter also lost her father in law the very next day. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Only in soap operas, but this really did happen.

I was amazed at my children. They had their moments, but they were so strong, so tender, and so caring especially to their spouses and each other. My daughter in law was there with my son. She helped him, she encouraged him, she supported him. And wow, they are so young. I was in awe of the bond that these two share.

I have been praying for my son in law James. I have to admit, he is not who I would have chosen for my daughter. But I am not always right. I was concerned because they were so young. He made some poor choices in his youth, but nothing really that bad. But he is a good young man with much more promise than I initially saw. I'm thankful that my daughter did. And he loves my daughter dearly. I am proud of the man he is and especially this past week. He was also saved at my ex husband's funeral. His choice was even more clear at his own father's funeral a few hours later.

I am proud to be their Mom. And now that they are adults; I'm also proud to be their friend. The only advice I have to give to mothers struggling with teenagers is to talk with them. Don't lecture. But most importantly - listen. I wish that I had listened more. I wish that I had stopped whatever I was doing and gave them my undivided attention instead of multi-tasking. Dishes can wait. The phone call can wait. Everything can wait if your child is willing to talk with you.

We teach our children to stop, look, and listen when they cross the street. We as parents need to stop, look, and listen to our children no matter how old our children are.

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