Thursday, September 3, 2009

Toothbrush, Toaster Strudels, and Reading Glasses

It was the morning after Mike died. I went to brush my teeth. And there on the sink, side by side stood our electric toothbrushes. It was there waiting as if he would be coming back for it. I picked it up and threw it away. His clothes hanging in the closet didn't bother me, but the toothbrush did.

After several days, the family and friends left and I was there alone. I was going to make myself something to drink and there by the ice sat Mike's toaster strudels. They were his favorite, especially the raspberry. And there was an unopened box just waiting for him. Into the trash they went. A cleaning frenzy followed. All of the goodies that were just for Mike were gone. I couldn't bear to see food that was there for him. Food he would never eat. And food that I didn't eat. I tend to be an emotional eater and I knew that I had to get rid of all the sugary goodies.

One day as I was searching for a pen, I opened a drawer to find a pair of reading glasses. Mike was forever misplacing them so he had several pair. Over the next few days, I found a half dozen pair in different places throughout the house. I did give them away.

It is funny how grief is. There are some things that bother you while there are others that give you comfort. Why a tooth brush, toaster strudels, and reading glasses? I have no idea.

The other day as I was going through a box of cards and letters I found another pair of reading glasses. This time it made me think of one Saturday morning. Mike was sitting at the table with his paper and cup of coffee. He took a sip and delighted in the flavor. He adjusted his glasses and went back to his paper. It was just an ordinary moment preserved in my memory that I cherish.

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