Write Now: What Books Are In My Beach Bag

The beach is not a vacation without taking several books to read. When we go on our family vacation, my brother, Randall loves to give everyone titles similar to the superlatives you find in school annuals, but instead of most popular or most likely to succeed, his titles are things like most time at the beach, whines the most, drinks the most, finds the most seashells, shops the most, and mine is always reads the most books. They laugh at how many books I bring, but you just don't know what is going to interest you. Books with a beach as the setting are always wonderful with a cool drink beneath the large umbrella and the soft lapping of ocean waves against the shore.

Next week Karen White ("Sea Change") and Dorothea Benton Frank ("Porch Lights") will be coming to Spartanburg thanks to the HubCity Bookshop. I am looking forward to their readings. 

I've loved Claire Cook since first reading "Must Love Dogs.". And I know "Wallflower in Bloom" will be another great book. I just love how the women in her novels reinvent themselves. 

Sunset Beach, NC is very special to MaryBeth Whalen and I can't wait to read her latest novel, "The Guestbook."

Beach books have some of the most inviting covers. The most difficult part will be waiting to read these books since they will all be out before I go on vacation.

Widow's Walk: Volleyball MVP

When Mike and I married, it was in between chemo sessions so we did not have a traditional honeymoon. A couple of months later, we went on our first vacation as husband and wife, and there was poor Mike on vacation with my whole family.

Sunset Beach, NC has been a favorite vacation spot for my family for several years now. This island called to me after the death of my mother. I walked the beach to the Kindred Spirit mailbox, which is tucked away in the sand dunes about a mile or so past the last public beach access. Inside the mailbox are pens and journals. It is a place where people come to share their joys and bare their souls. In 2006, I told the Kindred Spirit about losing my Mom. I also told the Kindred Spirit about this wonderful man named Mike, who I had met a few months earlier.

In 2008, Mike had just finished his chemo treatments and the doctor had declared him in remission. And while the doctor rejoiced with us, he also reminded us that this type of cancer would surely come back, but when he could not say. He encouraged Mike to go live.

Chemo drains the body of energy. My brothers were especially helpful, they understood the difficult time Mike had been through and they knew he tired easily. We were all surprised one day when Mike announced that he was going to play volleyball with them. He made me play too. I am not coordinated and my sweet brothers knew they did not want me on their team. They just knew they were going to whip us. Mike returned the serve easily and then he was running in the sand, diving for the ball, and keeping up with them. Others soon joined us and everyone wanted to be on Mike's team, which one the two consecutive games he played.

My brothers voted him the MVP and then laughed about carrying his beach chair down to the beach earlier that day. They didn't see the pain medication he took afterwards, but he had a smile on his face the rest of the week as everyone recounted his great volleyball skills. That was one of those great, unexpected moments and my brothers still laugh about how the old man with cancer whipped them at volleyball.

Sunday Dinner: Summer Sweetness

Sunday dinner at Grandmother's always included a freshly cut cantaloupe. Grandmother would take the first bite and either pronounce it as good and sweet or merely acceptable. Often she would forego dessert if when it was sweet.

Yesterday in preparing for today's dinner, I took my time selecting a cantaloupe. I picked each one up searching for the strong sweet scent until I felt I had the right one. I also got a watermelon and strawberries.

Elizabeth on her 1st Birthday

It is my niece's birthday and strawberries are one of her favorites. Like so many in our family, she's a picky eater so I will make sure that she has plenty of strawberries. She's twelve today.

For birthdays, my Mom would always make sure there was a cake and of course there was the customary picture with the cake. Growing up we didn't always have much money, but Mama always made sure we had a birthday cake. Sometimes she managed to buy one from the bakery, but I think the best ones were  the ones she made.

Remembering My High School Graduation

Yesterday, I began the day a little depressed. You see 28 years ago I graduated from high school and I was thinking about that girl and how different my life is than I imagined. That girl was wearing an engagement ring on her finger and she was so sure of how wonderful her marriage was going to be. She was hoping for a house in a little subdivision, vacations at the beach, and two children - a boy and a girl. She would never divorce her husband. She would do everything to make him happy.

The biggest lesson I learned from marriage number one is that you cannot make someone else happy. You cannot be responsibly for their happiness. And when one person gives their 100%, it is still only 50%.

I thought I learned my lesson and jumped into marriage number two. I didn't see it. Similar scenario with similar results.

Some parts have definitely been sweeter, but quite frankly I never expected to be married three times, divorced twice, have had the money struggles I've had, the problems with my daughter, etc. It just hasn't been the picture perfect scenario I expected. 

And then I turned my calendar made by my wonderful friend, Sandy and saw the Harvest Happiness. I thought of the wonderful friendships, my beautiful grandson, and all the other blessings of my life. Maybe I didn't meet those teenage aspirations, but my life is much richer in so many other ways instead of success or money. And while at first I was a little sad, I'm not any longer. I'm grateful.

And I think of Mike, my blessing from God; we only had a brief time together. And I am so thankful to have had a love with a partner, who was as interested in me as I was in him. We did not get along every minute of every week, but we talked. We did special things for one another. 

One of my favorite memories of Mike is I'm standing at the sink, just cleaning up. Mike is sitting at the table, reading glasses perched on his nose, the Saturday morning paper before him, the red coffee cup with the helicopter on it is in his hands and he lifts it to his lips and takes a slip. He smiles and lets out a pleasurable sigh as he returns to the article he was reading. It was just an average Saturday morning, but I can still smell the coffee, see him sitting there, appreciate the smile - a moment captured in my mind.

I told Sandy about my thoughts, my regrets, my sadness, and my gratitude and asked if I could include her calendar page in my blog. 

And she gave me some wonderful advice: Sandy said, "We all have regrets and blessings. It's how we think on those things that make all the difference...never look back, unless it is to learn or to be reminded of a happy day."

Write Now: Gold Stars and The Happiness Project

As I was looking through the shelves of Barnes and Noble this weekend searching for a gift for mother in law, I found a journal that was a five year journal with just a few lines for each for five years. I remembered reading about this a while back and it was part of another book called, The Happiness Project. 

With summer looming before me and the availability of some free time, I decided to download the free sample on my iPad. I was hooked. I have many areas of my life that I want to improve and this seems to be just the formula for me.

That night, I made my own spread sheet with the things I plan to do everyday for the next month and I included a few extra days since the month was about to change. My checklist includes keeping a food diary, walking, exercising, reading my Bible, praying, writing, connecting with family, and going to bed earlier.

I was so excited to make so many checks last night. I did give myself a pass on the exercise since I walked longer than I normally do. 7 out of 8 isn't too bad. I love checking things off. As a kid, I loved those stars we used to get in elementary school.

This morning it was so wonderful to wake up refreshed with an extra half hour of sleep. And thanks to my DVR, I will still be able to watch my favorite shows that come on later in the evening.

The Happiness Project is not a cure all for serious problems, but it is a way of looking at your life, assessing what is working and what isn't, and making practical adjustments. Right now I'm reading the section about clutter control. I am a packrat. I tend to keep a lot of things that I should just let go of. I will be getting rid of things that serve no purpose except to take up space.

I love my five year journal. Some days I struggle with what to write. What will I care to remember years from now? What will my children and grandchildren want to know? My four month old grandson has just begun to reach out to people. It is so sweet to see those little fingers reaching out for me to pick him up. My brother stopped by one night and we watched a silly comedy show, it is nice to be friends with my brother as adults. I know my mother never expected that to happen. I've just been recording little snippets of my day or my thoughts.