Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Widow's Walk: Get Over It

My first thought when I saw the title of this article was to be offended. I was really expecting some quick-fix peppy way of dealing with things, but that was not the case.

This is a lovely and insightful article meant to help those dealing with intense pain.

Sometimes the best way to deal with pain is to truly experience it. After my husband died, I often found myself watching the movies Nights in Rodanthe and P.S. I Love You. Spoiler alert, but each is about a woman dealing with the death of a man. It helped me to go experience it with them - I was not alone. I understood their pain, frustration, fear, and loss. I cried when they cried.

When you lose your husband, people are very helpful at first, but eventually they return to their reality while the widow is facing a new normal - he's not there after work, at bedtime, on Saturday mornings. Nothing is the same and you have to learn how to navigate own your own.

And as I've said before, don't give yourself a time limit. You'll have good days and bad days. It has been three years and I still have difficult moments. Accept this as a reality.

I don't think that time really heals, but rather allow you to accept the reality of your situation. Don't rush the grieving process and understand that it never truly ends.

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