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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Widow's Walk: Thankful

This is the last post that I will be writing officially for the Widow's Walk.

Mike will always occupy a dear space in my heart and a wonderful time in my life. When we married, Mike once said that I would be the last chapter of his life while he would be a middle chapter in mine. We both hoped for more time, but we had to accept what we had. And we had some glorious times in those 336 days God gave us.

I will be forever grateful for the time we spent, the laughs we shared, the trips we took, and the beauty of the ordinary days. I learned to trust God more. I learned to accept the good and the bad. For the first time in my life, I had a mature romantic relationship.

Mike encouraged me to go back to school. He encouraged me to write – not for money, but because I love it so much.

Sometimes in life you run across those people that are truly wondrous and amazing people and Mike was definitely one of those. I've heard so many wonderful stories and comments over the years about him.

Widow is no longer a major defining factor in my life. It is hard to write about the pain because I have moved to that place where there is more appreciation and gratefulness rather than hurt. I can't say I'm healed. I still have the occasional bad day. I still miss him and I know I always will. I would love to hear his laugh or the way he said his pet name for me.

I know Mike would not want me to wallow in grief. He loved me and wanted the best for me. He did so much to help me through losing him and he always reminded me that he wasn't afraid for where he was going – he was just sorry to be leaving us behind.

And I am comforted knowing that he would not be upset that my life is moving forward, but I will always honor and cherish the memories of the love and life Mike and I shared.

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